I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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