i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
