oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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