he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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