he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
