Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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