i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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