WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
