belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
