i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
