Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel