haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
