Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is Oprah even human
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
