I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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