I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.