that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
whose parrot is this?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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