spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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