think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
