she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
