there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
