why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it because I queefed?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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