singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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