got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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