I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
