the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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