you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
