The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
