I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
