My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
