WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
