was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
