So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
