What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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