Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
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