The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
