stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
