Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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