is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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