$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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