i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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