yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
