went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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