bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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