Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
