Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
