I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize