Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my poor anus
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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