I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
