why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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