your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
