he shaved USA in his pubs
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is Oprah even human
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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