Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
