are you still at the devil's house?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
