ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
