I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
