I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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