Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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