I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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