So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
