so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
