i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
