u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
