I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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