Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
