Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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