after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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