I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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