Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
