that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
