We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
