This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
