she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
