I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
