I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
