But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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