dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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